SPEAK YOUR TRUTH ; GENDER INEQUALITY IN PARENTING/SINGLE PARENTING (MALE GAP IN PARENTING).








The pride or failure of men in the world (especially Africa) at parenting is discouraging, quite alarming and also need for a change. I am not implying men lack the proper ability of training a child, but am pointing out the fact that men need to understand that they are capable of taking care of a child alone, just as a woman would 100% with no doubt.

Social research has it that the percentage of men who train their children alone is lower compared to the female gender .




Feminism fights for gender equality among all sexes, in simplicity boys and girls should be raised to see all responsibilities among themselves shared in proportion, so as to diminish some of the mentality which society embeddes into us while growing up, causing some loopholes in our adulthood, which we ignorantly pass from generation to another. It shouldn't be normalized that boys should be fathers and husbands with no background training on child responsibility, and girls should be the perfect mothers and wives with the ability of combining both a mother duty and a working class woman. Most men fail in the home responsibilities, it's more like if a man's marriage fails or has a child outside wedlock he rather shift that responsibility of the child to a relative or someone(a female figure) than taking it solemnly to single handedly train the ward, it's even more difficult when its a female child. Society encourages a man to find a helper at such situation, or drop with a trusted relative. You would hear some thing like'' You are a man you don't have to take care of the child that's a woman job''. But, when its the woman she's stuck there no favorable say for her, except her maiden family or friend helping her or she disturbing the father to also take responsibility so she can rest. They say charity begins at home, when a man is not taught how to take care of his offspring from young how will he adapt to such issue when the need arises, but the truth is that a woman who goes through labor pain will find it difficult to allow another woman to take responsibility for her.




'' Women loves love'' ___ who ever said that? such a false statement. It is visualized that women are scared of staying alone or are to feeble or weak, simply she needs a man to play the masculine figure which I am not denying. But, what masculine figure is being portrayed when she caters for the child alone, mostly her whole life.



There are more single mothers on earth than there are single fathers. The polygamous lifestyle of men marrying so many women and having numerous children to cater for or having so many BABY MAMA'S like the modern term, with the multiple children shows lack of self control on their manhood. ____The truth is that not all women would properly take care of a child that's not hers, like the way she will to her own. Women give birth to their children and know it her responsibility to care of the child whether as a single parent or not, and wont easily let another woman from that same man take care of the child. There will obviously be some maltreatment here and there in the absence of the man. There will be some differences knowingly or unknowingly simply because she's not the birth mother. Objectively am trying to prove that if a man finds himself in a position where he has to carter for a child alone he should do it, and do it well with no mind of shifting responsibility.



Judicially the law gives more advantage to women in child custody, as a result of the historical and cultural role played by the women being the care giver i.e women, are seen as the better guardian in training a child against the gap or inequality being played my the male in parenting. The single working class mother combines both her role as the mother and provider for her child efficiently, but the same can't be said about the male. This post is just an eye opener on the negative attitude men are bias in, which the law ,is also bias for the woman to take care of her kids no matter the situation. Because, not all women are willing to take care of another woman child especially if she's not paid, it's more sickening when you have children scattered everywhere and cannot establish that relationship with any of them reasons being that the mother is capable and when she's not available will you still chicken out of the responsibility? Responsibility as a man is not just measured financially but emotionally, physically and psychologically what role can you say you played to those numerous children when you get older . Surprisingly enough, based on a research it was seen that some men are good in playing the guardian role to their children than the women; maybe because the child does not get that comfort often like seeing the mother always. Men are capable of being care giver as both the father and the provider without looking for a third part to play the role, taking care of your child is not special neither is helping the woman. It's a duty and a called one, but I openly acknowledge those men who never back out and see their children as their priority to the extreme whether single or not, they are there to play that important role without seeing it as special.


There are men out there who are single and have dedicated their time and life in training their child to the last, playing that male figure is very important to a growing child and should not be seen as a luxury to anybody. The simple fact, as I have said earlier is that if you find yourself as a man who has to parent your own child, please take such duty like you would for your job or hobby. Because that child is your problem and looking for a third party wont really go well, weather you lack the skills or not doesn't matter. ''NOT ALL WOMEN WILL TAKE CARE OF A CHILD WHO'S NOT THEIRS'', no matter the situation. This step mother thing we watch on Africa Magic is not a folktale but indeed a reality, I cant stress this more at this point.




Being a father goes as far as taking your child for immunization, taking the child to school, helping your child with their homework, knowing; your child's favourite colour, shows, food, best friend etc. Size of shoes, cloth. Allergies, dislikes, going for those school activities, spending some fun time,hearing all the jargon they have to say, even when they are grown show them how to grow up, play the mother role also, simply normalise it like its nothing and don't feel special because it's not it's just your duty.





what do you guys think about this post? lets engage.


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